Was every day bad? Was it terrible enough that it needed to be gone... and labeled with just one different number on the end?
I actually found myself quite attached to the year 2010. Obviously good things happened to me. The biggest being the marriage to my best friend. I think I was even sad saying goodbye to such an important year in my life. I had waited, what seemed like forever, to say "2010", just because I knew it was my wedding year. And here we are...a year gone. Matt works New Years Eve, he did last year and he did last night as well. And when texting him last night at midnight... I thought back to what I texted him the year before. It was exactly a year prior that I texted him "this year I marry you!" "This is Our year!"
And it was our year. Sure not everyday was perfect. I'm sure I was even grumpy for a number of them, just ask Matt. And I'm sure that some days consisted of bad news and other days had amazing news. I know I was sick some days and I know other days were healthier than I have had in almost two years. There is just no way I can chalk 2010 up to just one category. It was full of too many good days to label it in its entirety a mediocre year. Besides, I genuinely believe God desires us to live life by the day. We have never been promised more than just that on this earth anyway.
My previous post discussed the issues of lumps on my thyroid. You maybe able to guess that my lack of an immediate post implied good news. And that it was. The ultra sound revealed that the lumps on my thyroid were non cancerous. I remember walking out of the ultra sound wondering if there really was a chance that this could be more... kinda a tingle in my arms with some sweaty palms kinda feeling. Because in all truth....we have those definite thoughts that something like 'that' doesn't happen to 'me'.
But for the brief second that I wondered if it could happen to me... it made me wonder if I was even strong enough emotionally and spiritually to handle such a thing. So thankful that God took those things into consideration. Because I am 'healthy'. And currently I am able to be treated with medicine. And I truly do believe that I am being healed of all the terribleness I felt for almost two years prior. I'm thrilled with my doctor and I look forward to my thyroid disease just being a label and not a hindrance in how I function in life. With the new meds I am on I have been feeling better. I feel less tired and my anxiety level seems to have decreased. The doctor would like to do another ultra sound in about three months to confirm that the lumps have not grown. At that point I should be in the clear from here on out that I do not have a cancerous thyroid!
To me that is just another reason why 2010 was just so great. I experienced some pretty rocky days prior to figuring out that my thyroid was dysfunctional. The not knowing and the frustration of not feeling well often made me very upset. I even wondered how on earth I could be a good wife feeling the way I was. Not to mention someday being a mom.... I figured I would never be able to function normally if I had to endure life feeling the way I had. Thank the Lord for knowledge and discovery, because of a doctor who actually listened to me... I am feeling better and better.
Thank you for your prayers and concern. I still look forward to the doctor tweaking my medicine so I can feel the best possible. But good things are in store...
Because I have Hope that everyday brings good. I am happily with the love of my life. Living in a space that I have come to love. (and will even cry when it is our time to move on and leave). I have amazing parents who love Matt and I to the core. Really really love us and show us that in so many ways. I love my job... no matter the little. little pay that I receive, it is outweighed in the joy that it brings me. And the Lord has subsidized any need we may have, fulfilling any lack of money with surprise gifts and wisdom in how to spend our money. Ends really do meet! Praise the Lord.
And then there is the graduate school topic. I applied to school last year and was accepted into the academic program but did not receive an assistanship I was willing to do. Therefore we did not end up in Kent, OH. But rather decided on spending another year in Port Clinton. This year Matt has applied to three different schools. Bowling Green, Ohio University and Taylor University in IN. It is a deep desire of Matt's to be in a College Student Personnel program. Doing activities on a college campus. It is something I genuinely believe he was created to do. He is so talented with planning and interacting with the college demographic. It is now up to those schools as to whether they will take a chance on Matt. I just pray for an interview. Because once they meet Matt I truly believe they will believe in him. Not only does this affect Matt, but obviously me too. And I know we both do desire something more, we just pray that it is also the desire of God. Prayers for our next step in life.
That is where we are at now. The start of new year... but more importantly to me... the start to a new day. Because I pray to wake up every morning with the beautiful Hope the Lord has given me to seize the day.
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