Messy & Beautiful

I was in a funk today. It rained a lot here in Northern Ohio--that ugly windy far from fun kind of rain. We spent most of our day out and about finishing up our last bit of Christmas shopping...and unfortunately I spent a good chunk of the day in a rotten mood.

Matt deals with my crabbiness quite well, even asking what he could do for me to cheer me up. The only problem...I was not really sure why I felt so "off".

As we drove around from store to store in silence I had time to think. I've realized I was affected by this past weeks tragic event more than I initially thought. Lots of thinking about those families and children, about the teachers and the community. And then my best friend from college (Sam, and her baby) came to visit for three days, leaving just yesterday. Leaving me to realize that with the emotions of this past week and the visit from my friend, today was my day to process it all. Today I miss my friend and her baby, Aurora. I miss living close to her and staying up late talking into the night. I miss laughing over old memories and I miss the ability to make new memories easily.

And then seeing her sweet baby girl and the love Sam has for that baby. Just like those mama's of all those sweet children in that school that day. And then my heart bursting with love for my friend, for her baby and for my children that are yet to be.

This life really is beautiful. It's often hard and often messy, but it's beautiful. The relationships that I get to have and the love that I get to experience... it's beautiful. This week may have been one of those really ugly weeks, but even today after all the rain and gloom, the sky took a moment to remind me of the beauty still present in this place...

And a little more beauty from my last three days: