Sometimes I Forget

Sometimes I forget that I take daily medication for a thyroid disease. Even more times I forget that I have a failing thyroid. Having an autoimmune disease can mean a million and one different things for a million and one different people. For many it's a chronic state of pain and discomfort, and yet others never experience a single symptom.

I fall somewhere in between the two. And it all depends on the day. Autoimmune diseases suck, but I am very aware that what I endure and what alters my life could be so much worse, I really don't have it all that bad. I can get out of bed in the morning. I can go to work and I can live a mostly normal life.

So most days I forget I have a dying thyroid. But when I got a phone call last week from the doctor (endocrinologist) himself, I was reminded that my thyroid continues to suck and that it's doing a really great job at not doing its job.

All this to say, I see my specialist 2-4 times a year. I do blood work every 3 months, and I get an ultra sound or two a year. My most recent ultra sound revealed that a nodule on my thyroid is growing. Once they get a certain size, the doctor becomes concerned. I've had a concerning nodule before, and from that I had a biopsy of the tumor. The biopsy came back inconclusive and yet un-alarming. So with that... we moved on. But here I am again waiting to hear what the doc would like to do.

I had more blood work done today and he will be getting back to me with what he would like to do. I'm guessing not much...? He'll probably increase my medication and worst case scenario he'll ask for another biopsy.

So it's not all bad and terrible. And I'm not 'sick'. It's just that this thing I have, this autoimmune disease... it's not going anywhere. It persists. My body thinks my thyroid is the enemy so it's working really hard to kill it. Some days I feel good, some days I'm extra tired, achy, foggy or anxiety filled. But most days I'm good. 

It just goes to show how truly blessed I am. If this is my battle, I can fight it. There is so much worse out there. There are much larger burdens to bear. So this is my version of thyroid disease. It's not an issue until it is. It's not a bother, until it makes me sick. It's not in the forefront of my mind until it needs to be.

So this week I'm waiting to hear from my doctor.

If you or someone you know endures a thyroid disorder, I hope you don't feel alone. It's one of these diseases that doesn't get a ton of the research funding, doctors don't always stay up to date on what research there is, and many times it's treated by looking at the blood work numbers as opposed to asking the patient how they are feeling. All this makes it a frustrating and often lonely place to be. But you are not alone! Don't hesitate to contact me if you ever need to chat.

And if you're new to reading my blog, I've talked about my thyroid before and how it relates to anxiety and that last time I had a biopsy which revealed good results. :)